Marriage & Relationship Coach

Boundaries in Marriage and Relationships

Better boundaries in marriage mean more respect, more love, and better communication Do your marriage problems get worse when you talk about them with your spouse?  If so, you may have learned to keep your mouth shut rather than make your problems worse.  But, you know what keeping your mouth shut does?  It slowly drains the love you feel for your spouse.  It...

An Interview with Dr. Jack Ito about Disrespectful Men

I was recently interviewed by the editor of an online woman’s journal.  The message she wanted me to give to her readers is:  1) that you should talk to your husband/partner if he is being disrespectful, and 2) if talking doesn’t work, you should leave him.  Needless to say, as a pro-marriage, Christian coach, I did not give her the answers she...

Why Your Husband Doesn’t Respect You

Your husband doesn’t respect you, but he used to.  What’s going on? What is it about your husband that makes him disrespect you?  Some men become disrespectful as soon as the honeymoon is over while others don’t become disrespectful until after a number of years.  This article talks about three particular kinds of disrespectful husbands:  the...

Should I Patiently Wait for My Spouse to Change?

Being patient is more likely to result in divorce, but that doesn’t mean you need do something needy or controlling either. Are you “patiently” drifting further and further away from your spouse?  Problems in your marriage can make you seriously consider whether you married your soul mate or whether you made a big mistake.  When problems happen in...

When You Are Blamed for Everything by Your Spouse

How to effectively respond to blame and make your marriage better at the same time Blame may play an important role for your spouse.  Because of that, he or she will be reluctant to give it up, even if it is damaging your marriage.  If you can get past your own defensive reaction and take a look at what blame is doing for your spouse, you will be on the path...

Fix a Marriage and Get Your Spouse to Cooperate

Can you get cooperation and fix a marriage when you are both so different?  Absolutely! Most married couples have difficulty solving their relationship problems because they don’t find common ground.  Because they have different goals, they end up trying to justify their position while blaming the other.  Rather than solving problems and fixing a...

Making Up After an Argument or Fight with Your Husband or Wife

You are ready to make up after your fight.  But your spouse isn’t.  How can you respond to this situation in a way that gets your marriage back on track? Whether it was your fault or not, and no matter the reason for the fight, you need to get your marriage back on track. After all, prolonged distance means decreasing love.  But, your spouse may still be...

Understanding, Loving, and Improving a Relationship with an Angry Man

Why, in particular, is your husband so angry? It’s helpful to look at the specific reasons why your husband is angry.  The reason to do this, of course, is not to blame him or yourself, because blame won’t do you any more good than it does your husband.  He looks for blame.  Make sure you don’t fall into the same way of thinking.  It would only make you more...

Get Your Spouse to Change for the Sake of Your Marriage

To get your spouse to change, work on effectively responding to what your spouse is or is not doing If you are like many dissatisfied spouses, you can identify some significant problems that your spouse has.  It may be that the only way for your relationship to improve is to somehow get your spouse to change. While you may be right, directly trying to get your...

Why Spouses Blame: Loving and Helping Your Blaming Spouse

Why is your spouse blaming you? Is it really about you, or is it something about your spouse? Understanding the causes of blaming is a good step toward stopping it. Being blamed a lot by your spouse is a different experience than occasionally being blamed. Reasonable and loving spouses will sometimes blame, and when they do, they are usually right. Spouses who...