Marriage & Relationship Coach

Talking About Marriage Problems

Does it really help to talk to your spouse about the problems in your marriage?  Although many people assume that’s the right thing to do, often it makes things worse.  Repeatedly having unproductive talks about marriage problems can cause both of you to stop talking about anything but the weather.  And when the talking stops, so do people’s loving feelings....

Help Me with My Marriage: Sexual Problem or Communication Problem?

Sexual problems between couples can relate to  frequency of sex, the duration of sex, and the way that sex (including foreplay and after play) is done.  The defining characteristic is that one or both partners are not satisfied.  Partners who are not sexually satisfied begin to lose their sexual desire and the frequency of sex drops off or stops altogether. The...

How to Get Your Spouse to Understand What You Want

Are you communicating in an unclear way so that your spouse really doesn’t understand you? If your spouse is doing something (or not doing something) and that bothers you, your first step should be to make a clear request.  While a complaint is saying you don’t want,  a request saying what you do want.  Complaints are fuzzy communication because...

Problem Solving in Marriage

Problem solving in marriage requires agreement Too often, people try to do problem solving in marriage by convincing their partners that they are wrong.  This just brings resistance with no real change.  Because of our partners’ desire to be right, they will not acknowledge the truth in what we are saying.  And, because we believe our partners to be...

Help Me With My Marriage: Adding Adventure and Fun to Your Marriage

  Is Your Inner Child (or Your Spouse’s) Bored in Your Marriage?  Some people enjoy a highly stable and routine relationship.  Doing the same thing every day and going out to the same restaurant every week is all they want.  Other people though need something more.  And, if they don’t get it in their marriage, it can cause problems. ...

Communication in Marriage: Two Chances to Get it Right

Does your tongue sometimes get ahead of your brain? It’s hard saying things right the first time, isn’t it?  Although you may have learned some better ways to say things from books or from your relationship coach, your words may tend to pop out of your mouth the old way–frustrating both you and your spouse.  But, no one can change their habits...

Help Me with My Marriage: Role Play for Marriage Improvement

Role play is an excellent way to improve the way you get along with your husband or wife. When you use role play with your partner, you put into practice a new way of behaving toward each other.  Because you practice it at a time when you are getting along well, there is no tension and the role playing can even be fun.  Role play is a kind of “play...

Romance In Marriage: 10 Ways to Share Fantasies

In another post, I told you how sharing fantasies can put more romance in your marriage or committed relationship.  In this post, I give you 10 specific ways to share fantasies in your relationship that prevent conflict while making your relationship more romantic and intimate.  Being able to share fantasies is one of the measures of having a Oneness Marriage....

Romance in Marriage: Sharing Fantasies

Fantasy for some is a mystical, magical word used for a certain genre of story or movie.  For others, fantasy is used as a term to criticize someone who is not in touch with reality (“she lives in a fantasy world’).  For others, fantasy is a word related only to sexual imagery and is somehow inappropriate for relationships.  Nothing could be further...

Is It a Relationship Problem, or Is It a Communication Problem?

If a couple have a difference of opinion about something, what methods are open to them to resolve their differences?  We can consider this in terms of both small and large differences.  Take a difference as small as deciding which way to hang the toilet paper roll.  Should it unroll from the front or the back?  And how about a larger issue like how to spend...