Some people believe that we should always talk about relationship problems and others think that we should never talk about relationship problems.  The truth is somewhere in between. Obviously, communication is an important aspect of any relationship.  But, it is not communication per se that builds relationships.  Rather it is both the way the we talk about...

Is your spouse ignoring you, making you feel frustrated? You can end the struggle for control by knowing what this behavior means and how to deal with it Is your spouse tuning you out, refusing to answer you, or pretending that you are not even in the room? This attempt to ignore you is actually very similar to avoidance. Typically such people do not like open...

Does it really help to talk to your spouse about the problems in your marriage?  Although many people assume that’s the right thing to do, often it makes things worse.  Repeatedly having unproductive talks about marriage problems can cause both of you to stop talking about anything but the weather.  And when the talking stops, so do people’s loving feelings....

Sexual problems in marriage are caused by any aspect of sexuality or intimacy that makes even one of the partners dissatisfied.  Unremedied, it will erode the relationship. People who are not sexually satisfied in their marriage begin to lose sexual desire for their partners.  After that, the frequency of sex drops off or stops altogether. The sex drive is not...

Communicating clearly and directly what you want will promote understanding and lead to better communication in marriage If your spouse is doing something (or not doing something) and that bothers you, your first step should be to make a clear request.  While a criticism is saying what you don’t want,  a request is saying what you do want.  Criticisms are...

Focusing on what you and your spouse both dislike about the problem will help you to solve marriage problems without arguing. Too often, people try to solve marriage problems by convincing their partners that they are wrong.  This just brings resistance with no real change.  Because of our partners’ desire to be right, they will not acknowledge the truth...

A happy married life doesn’t just happen. It takes work. But no one says the work can’t be fun! The idea that marriage is an institution for the raising of children, maintaining of a home, and the raising of capital is not one that people are going to be able to maintain for 50 years.  It worked for our ancestors because their was no other choice....

Our tongues can be faster than our brains and cause damage to our relationships. Here’s a great way to apologize for saying the wrong thing. Does your tongue sometimes get ahead of your brain? It’s hard saying things right the first time, isn’t it?  Although you may have learned some better ways to say things from books or from your...

Role play is an excellent way to improve the way you get along with your spouse. When you use role play with your partner, you put into practice a new way of behaving toward each other.  Because you practice it at a time when you are getting along well, there is no tension and the role playing can even be fun.  Role play is  “play acting” something that you...

For a married couple fantasy sharing can bring renewed closeness. It is important for bringing purpose, building similarity, and keeping the marriage fresh. Sharing fantasies can put more romance in your marriage or committed relationship.  In this post, I give you 10 specific ways to share fantasies in your relationship that prevent conflict while making your...