Less Quality Time with More Conflict? Change that Now
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Less Quality Time with More Conflict? Change that Now

A common needy behavior is to complain and argue in order to get more attention and affection. Could this be what your spouse is doing with you? Complaining and arguing may be your spouse’s way to make sure that you still care. For couples who have become emotionally distant, arguing is often a substitute for…

How to Argue Less, Connect More with Your Spouse
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How to Argue Less, Connect More with Your Spouse

You will never argue your way to a better marriage, but you can end the arguing and create a better relationship with your spouse. Did your parents try to fix relationship problems by arguing? If so, you are also likely to argue with your spouse. We learn to do what we see others doing, even when those…

The Most Effective Way to Stop Your Husband’s Disrespect
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The Most Effective Way to Stop Your Husband’s Disrespect

Good actions are more effective than sharing your feelings when it comes to ending disrespectful behavior. Some time ago I was interviewed by the editor of an online women’s journal. The message she wanted me to give to her readers was: 1) that you should talk to your husband if he is being disrespectful, and…

Patience Is the Persistent Application of Love and Boundaries
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Patience Is the Persistent Application of Love and Boundaries

Relying on patience alone to create change is neither effective nor loving. Loving someone involves a set of skills that promotes closeness while effectively dealing with problems. Patience is an important aspect of love But, love is not one single thing. People who like to say that love is patient or that love is unconditional,…

How to Get Your Spouse to Stop Blaming You
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How to Get Your Spouse to Stop Blaming You

Blaming is one of several damaging behaviors that people unwittingly reward their spouse for doing. Just as giving candy to a tantruming child won’t result in fewer tantrums, your reactions to your spouse’s blaming may be getting you more and more blaming. It makes a difference whether your spouse blames you a lot or a…

The No Conflict, No Therapy Way to Cooperative Parenting
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The No Conflict, No Therapy Way to Cooperative Parenting

Here is what you can do to eliminate parenting conflict without going to marriage counseling Taking the direct approach with a disagreeable spouse is like going head to head with a mountain goat. A disagreeable spouse will not back down, will not be reasonable, and will not admit you are right–no matter how much evidence…

How to Make Sure Marriage Differences Don’t Become Irreconcilable
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How to Make Sure Marriage Differences Don’t Become Irreconcilable

Can you get cooperation and fix a marriage when you are very different from each other?  Absolutely! The main reason couples have difficulty solving their relationship problems is because they don’t work to find common ground. They want to fix the biggest differences so badly that they tackle those head on. The big differences reflect differences…

Understand and Reduce Your Husband’s Anger for a Better Marriage
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Understand and Reduce Your Husband’s Anger for a Better Marriage

Do you know which of the four motivators is making your husband be so angry? Figuring that out will help you deal with him effectively. When your husband is angry, it forces you to focus on his emotion and his words. At that time he will either be blaming you or criticizing you. His behaviors…

Get Better Behavior from Your Spouse without Conflict
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Get Better Behavior from Your Spouse without Conflict

You can get your spouse to change by working on effectively responding to what your spouse is or is not doing If you are like many dissatisfied spouses, you can identify some significant problems that your spouse has. It may be that the only way for your relationship to improve is to somehow get your…