What do “patience,” and “kissing frogs,” have in common? They are both equally ineffective ways to turn your partner into Prince or Princess Charming. If you are single, you are far better off finding someone less frog like.  If you are married, it is time to stop using patience as a method to get your spouse to change and to start creating the changes in your...

Here is an actual response that I sent to a needy young woman asking for my advice after her boyfriend left her for the second time Dear Miss Needy, It sounds like you have had a roller coaster ride of a relationship.  You did very well not to get desperate when your boyfriend left before, but you didn’t make the changes that were necessary to prevent a...

How many of these needy characteristics can you find in yourself? Just as high blood pressure is the silent killer of people’s health, needy characteristics are the silent killer of people’s relationships.  And, just like high blood pressure, it can be reduced, and in many cases eliminated, so that you can go on to have a loving, satisfying,...

Get more love by loving first Every second of every day, there is some relationship being damaged or lost because of neediness.  For every spouse I help to get more love, there is some aspect of overcoming neediness.  Working to eliminate this neediness can significantly boost the amount of love you receive from your spouse.  In many cases, it can prevent...

Are you feeling stuck in your relationship because your partner is not making the changes you need to feel loved?  End neediness to be more effective in getting the love you want from your partner. A needy person is someone who does not have good skills for choosing partners, resolving conflict, keeping attraction, and using good boundaries.  Instead, needy...

Overthinking your relationship will increase your feelings of stress and insecurity. This in turn will make it much more likely that you will say or do harmful things to your relationship.  The more harmful things you say or do, the more insecurity and stress you will have and so the downward spiral goes.  If you learn to get a hold on your mind, you can have...

Many women mistakenly believe that the way to get respect is to tell their husbands what they don’t like about their behavior.  In essence–complaining.  Complaining, though, does nothing to either build respect or change your husband’s behavior.  It actually loses you respect.  And, the more you complain, the more respect you will lose until...

If you are needy, the future of your marriage depends on your willingness to: 1) be loving, and 2) apply healthy boundaries “Needy” people put up with behavior from their spouses that most people would not tolerate. They frequently seek reassurance from their spouses and are vigilant to any sign that the relationship is in danger. They are quick to feel jealous...

Are you a needy spouse or married to one? Are you a codependent for your spouse’s damaging behavior? A few changes can help you to be a secure, loving couple again In my daily coaching I encounter three basic relationship styles that cause confusion and conflict for both men and women.  Couples are confused because what they believed to be a healthy way...