By far, the the bigger mistake people mistake is thinking that their marriage is over when it is not. This is a false conclusion which comes from not knowing what to try next For every person who works with me to save their marriage, there are many others who have given up in the very same situation. Too many people think that when their spouse has given up,...

A common question I hear from clients in the process of reconciling is “should I keep wearing my ring, even though my husband/wife took off his/hers?” Considerations for reconciling The actions we take and the words we use have the power to hurt and to heal.  We should never take actions for the express purpose of hurting someone.  But, what if that person has...

The vast majority of people give up on their marriages too soon. Lack of progress calls for different methods–it doesn’t mean it is too late to save your marriage I often receive emails from people asking if it is too late to save their marriage. They have done everything that they know how to do, but are not making progress. For these people, there...

The longer you wait for your spouse to reconcile, the more your window of opportunity will close. Steps to reconciling after a long separation. I often receive email from people who have been separated for anywhere from six months to 5 years.  Typically they ask me what the chances are for reconciling their marriages. It really isn’t possible to say based...

Your marriage is not over when your wife wants to separate.  Handled correctly, this can be a good opportunity for your marriage to become better than ever. If you are like most of the men I work with and your wife wants to separate, that came as a complete surprise to you.  Even if your relationship has been poor for years, you thought that she would never...

Are you using good separation boundaries to prevent your spouse from having his (or her) cake and eating it, too? Many people do reconcile after separation.  Many people do not.  What makes the difference between these two groups?  In my experience, the single most important factor is the behavior of the partner who wants to save the relationship. Two...

Failing to make your relationship a priority will ultimately result in your spouse no longer making your relationship a priority. Whatever you prioritize in life, you can keep.  Are your priorities making your link to your spouse stronger or weaker?  What change do you need to make in your priorities to keep your relationship strong? The priorities that seem to...

Simple steps to convince your husband to go to marriage counseling There are some good reasons that could make your husband refuse marriage counseling.  Fortunately, you can overcome his objections by helping him to see what is in it for him. Here are some ideas that you can use to motivate him. Use questions rather than statements If you try to tell your...

Your husband has told you that he needs time to figure out what he wants  and is moving out so he can do that. What you need to know is that by the time your husband says this to you, he has already done his thinking. He already knows what he wants to do. What he is really saying By the time a man wants to move out, he has already decided what he wants to do....

Marriage doesn’t protect you. You must protect your marriage. I have worked with thousands of men, women, and couples over the last 20+ years.  In this article, I want to share with you what I have observed to be the most common causes for marriage and relationship breakdowns.  Although the divorce rate and rate of unhappy marriages is very high, people...