By far, the the bigger mistake people mistake is thinking that their marriage is over when it is not. This is a false conclusion which comes from not knowing what to try next For every person who works with me to save their marriage, there are many others who have given up in the very same situation. Too many people think that when their spouse has given up,...

A common question I hear from clients in the process of reconciling is “should I keep wearing my ring, even though my husband/wife took off his/hers?” Considerations for reconciling The actions we take and the words we use have the power to hurt and to heal.  We should never take actions for the express purpose of hurting someone.  But, what if that person has...

The vast majority of people give up on their marriages too soon. Lack of progress calls for different methods–it doesn’t mean it is too late to save your marriage I often receive emails from people asking if it is too late to save their marriage. They have done everything that they know how to do, but are not making progress. For these people, there...

The longer you wait for your spouse to reconcile, the more your window of opportunity will close. Steps to reconciling after a long separation. I often receive email from people who have been separated for anywhere from six months to 5 years.  Typically they ask me what the chances are for reconciling their marriages. It really isn’t possible to say based...

Many people give up too soon on their marriages, believing them to be over when they are not. Much of the time, they just require a lot of the right kind of work Most of the people I help to reconcile have spouses who have said, “It’s over.” What this really means is, “the way I think and feel right now is that I do not want to continue my relationship...

Your marriage is not over when your wife wants to separate.  Handled correctly, this can be a good opportunity for your marriage to become better than ever. If you are like most of the men I work with and your wife wants to separate, that came as a complete surprise to you.  Even if your relationship has been poor for years, you thought that she would never...

“Can I trust my husband?” is probably something you never thought you would have to think about. But, what if you are just being naive? In my work with women whose husbands are having affairs, about half of their husbands never were trustworthy.  The other half have been trustworthy throughout the marriage. Many women are shocked to find that after 20 years or...

Getting your husband to come back to you requires that you understand things from his perspective and not merely what you want. If your husband is leaving you, it is because he believes he has much more to gain than to lose.  Another way to put it is that he is afraid of losing what he could have without you.  That may be another woman, but it might also be a...

Jealousy sends the message that you don’t trust your spouse. It also makes you appear more needy. The result is an increased risk of losing your partner A jealousy self test How many of the following statements can you answer “yes” to? I am concerned that I am losing my partner’s affection and that it is being given, or will be given to someone...

Are you using good separation boundaries to prevent your spouse from having his (or her) cake and eating it, too? Many people do reconcile after separation.  Many people do not.  What makes the difference between these two groups?  In my experience, the single most important factor is the behavior of the partner who wants to save the relationship. Two...