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Fighting about money says more about a couple’s relationship than it does about their bank account Fighting never has been a good way to resolve any problem. Can you imagine a financial counselor saying, “I can see that there is a real inequity in your relationship. One of you makes and spends most of the…
Blaming and verbal abuse are harmful for your relationship. But, failing to deal with these behaviors in your spouse is destructive, too. It’s time to start doing your part. Where do you draw the line with what your spouse says to you? Do you have a three step plan to make sure that these patterns…
Why is your spouse blaming you? Is it really about you, or is it something about your spouse? Understanding the causes of blaming is a good step toward stopping it. Being blamed a lot by your spouse is a different experience than occasionally being blamed. Reasonable and loving spouses will sometimes blame, and when they…
Acting on impulse is not the best strategy when you want to reconcile. Follow non-destructive principles until you become more stable. How do you feel? What do you want? These are hard questions to answer when your relationship has been turned upside down by an affair. Your answers to these questions may change from day…
Do you know the difference between a sexual affair and an emotional affair? Is one more ok than the other? Can someone have a “mental affair,” even if he or she isn’t seeing anyone? You have this feeling in your gut that your partner is cheating on you, and you have some evidence. But, your…
How can it be that your spouse wants a divorce after years of marriage and all you have had together? Understanding the fundamental reason is your key to reconciling. People are often shocked when their spouse wants a divorce. Yet, when I ask them how long their relationship had been bad before that, they often…
Here are some things you can do to reduce or eliminate parenting conflict with a controlling spouse Taking the direct approach with a controlling spouse is like going head to head with a mountain goat. A controlling spouse will not back down, will not be reasonable, and will not admit you are right–no matter how…
If your spouse is addicted to drugs or alcohol, you will need to deal with that before your relationship can improve. Trying to build a relationship with an addicted spouse is like trying to build your relationship with someone who is having an affair. Just when you think you are making progress, you will find…