Failing to make your relationship a priority will ultimately result in your spouse no longer making your relationship a priority.
Whatever you prioritize in life, you can keep. Are your priorities making your link to your spouse stronger or weaker? What change do you need to make in your priorities to keep your relationship strong?
The priorities that seem to matter may not be the ones that really do
Is there anything more important to you in this world than your relationships? Perhaps having enough money? Perhaps having good health? Perhaps living longer and doing what you want to do? If it is money, how much will you enjoy your money if your wife or husband does not love you, if your children no longer contact you, if you have no friends to share your time with? If it is health, how will you enjoy your health if you don’t have good relationships? What good is it to really live longer and do what you want to do if you don’t have people who care about you? How fun will that next toy really be? Or that next trip? Can you really enjoy your life, can you really find meaning, can you really feel that life is worth living without good relationships?
Make your relationship a priority to have more meaning in your life
It is my life’s work to help people to have good relationships. To help people put the most effort into what matters the most – loving and being loved by others. You see, I work with people every day who have come to the point in their relationships, unexpectedly and surprisingly, where they find that they are no longer the apple of someone’s eye. They have put time and effort and energy into things that seemed so important – to the neglect of their relationships. As a result, their spouses often tell them that they are not in love with them anymore and often their spouses are in love with someone else. They come to me asking me if it is too late to rebuild these relationships. And they realize to their horror that the principal reason that their relationships are dying is because they did not put enough time or effort into them. They made the assumption that their spouses would love them just by virtue of the fact that they were married – without putting hardly any effort into the relationship. They thought that they could put their relationships on hold for years at a time for that magical day when they had enough money or enough time that they could really enjoy their relationship with their spouses.
Relationships cannot be put on hold while you make money, get an education, etc.
Relationships cannot be put on hold. People need to spend time together to make their relationships work. People need to treat each other with love and affection and not merely pay the bills and help with the housework. Emotional needs are no more easily put off than physical needs. You can survive by eating once every three days. But you will not be healthy and you will not be happy to eat that way. Your relationship can survive by talking together once in a while and occasionally doing something with each other, but you will not be nearly as healthy or happy as when you put time in to your relationship every day.
Identify the obstacles to making your relationship a priority
Perhaps you have arrived at a time in your relationship when you no longer feel as close to your partner as you used to. If you feel that way, do you imagine that your partner really feels as close to you as he or she used to? And do you really believe that things will continue to survive if you don’t start to make your relationship more of a priority? Is it possible that you and your spouse have already become so distant that you don’t know where to begin to make your relationship better and to restore the love for each other that you used to have? What I can tell you is that the first step is to identify the obstacles and then to deal with them one by one until there are none. This is what I do. I show people how to bring down the barriers in their relationship, how to reconnect, how to stop behaving like roommates and begin again to behave like lovers. In this website, I will help you to deal with some of the most difficult obstacles that people face in their relationships.
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