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Good actions are more effective than sharing your feelings when it comes to ending disrespectful behavior. Some time ago I was interviewed by the editor of an online women’s journal. The message she wanted me to give to her readers was: 1) that you should talk to your husband if he is being disrespectful, and…
Fighting in marriage is an attempt to coerce or persuade a spouse to do things they don’t want to do. It always creates stress and emotional distancing, even when it works. Arguing or fighting as some people like to say is never healthy for relationships. It is normal only in the sense that it is…
Blaming is one of several damaging behaviors that people unwittingly reward their spouse for doing. Just as giving candy to a tantruming child won’t result in fewer tantrums, your reactions to your spouse’s blaming may be getting you more and more blaming. It makes a difference whether your spouse blames you a lot or a…
Here is what you can do to eliminate parenting conflict without going to marriage counseling Taking the direct approach with a disagreeable spouse is like going head to head with a mountain goat. A disagreeable spouse will not back down, will not be reasonable, and will not admit you are right–no matter how much evidence…
Do you walk on eggshells around your angry spouse? Are you frustrated trying to get your spouse to understand how he or she makes you feel? If so, it’s time to learn to use boundaries to help your spouse be less angry, and to help the both of you have a closer relationship. If you…
Do you know which of the four motivators is making your husband be so angry? Figuring that out will help you deal with him effectively. When your husband is angry, it forces you to focus on his emotion and his words. At that time he will either be blaming you or criticizing you. His behaviors…
Arguments always have two components–the actual practical issue, and the way people feel about the issue. A one step approach of presenting facts won’t get you to a better relationship. A two step approach will be much easier. People have different values concerning how money should be spent or saved. They also have different ideas…
Financial problems in marriage have both a financial aspect and a relationship aspect. Learn to deal with both and you can talk about anything. The answer to financial problems is often simple, but talking to your spouse about it may be difficult. First, let’s consider the simple answer to financial problems–increase income and decrease expenses until…
Focusing on what you and your spouse both dislike about the problem will help you to solve marriage problems without arguing. Too often, people try to solve marriage problems by convincing their partners that they are wrong. This just brings resistance with no real change. Because of our partners’ desire to be right, they will not…
You are ready to make up after your fight or argument but your spouse isn’t. Here are four steps you can take to get your relationship back on track fast. Whether it was your fault or not, and no matter the reason for the fight, you need to get your marriage back on track. After…