What’s Your Conflict Style?

1. When your partner brings up a complaint, you usually:

Change the subject or minimize the issue

Apologize quickly, even if you’re not at fault

Defend yourself and explain why you’re right.

Suggest you both compromise to settle things

Invite your partner to talk through it until you both understand each other.

2. If an argument gets heated, you tend to:

Leave the room or become silent.

Give in to end the argument.

Raise your voice or press harder for your point.

Recommend taking turns so you both get part of what you want.

Slow things down and ask to work together on a solution.

3. When you feel strongly about an issue, you:

Keep your feelings to yourself.

Downplay your feelings to avoid upsetting your partner

Stand your ground, no matter what.

Look for a way to split the difference.

Share your feelings and ask your partner to do the same.

4. If you notice ongoing tension at home, you:

Ignore it, hoping it will go away.

Try extra hard to please your partner.

Confront your partner directly about the issue.

Ask what both of you are willing to change.

Bring up the tension and suggest a joint problem-solving session

5. When a disagreement seems unresolvable, you:

Drop the topic completely.

Let your partner have their way

Insist on getting your way.

Offer a temporary fix that works for now.

Propose brainstorming until a solution works for both

6. How do you react to criticism from your spouse?

Say little and withdraw.

Agree with their points, even if you don’t

Argue your position and push back.

Accept some points, ask them to accept some of yours.

Ask for details, discuss how you both can improve.

7. If your spouse makes a decision you dislike:

Keep your objections to yourself.

Accept the decision to avoid conflict.

Confront them and try to change their mind.

Ask if there’s a middle-ground adjustment.

Discuss openly how to make future decisions together.

8. When you want your needs met in the relationship, you:

Hope your partner will notice without you saying anything.

Let your needs slide to keep the peace.

Demand what you want.

Suggest each of you gets part of what you want.

Share your needs and ask about your partner’s needs.

9. If your spouse is upset with you, you:

Avoid interacting until things calm down.

Apologize, even if you’re unsure what you did wrong.

Defend your actions and point out their faults.

Try to quickly “clear the air” with a partial solution.

Ask what’s bothering them and listen before responding.

10. When facing a recurring issue, your typical approach is:

Ignore it until it goes away (or you hope it does).

Give in to your partner’s way to avoid arguing.

Insist that your solution be tried first.

Alternate whose preference is followed.

Discuss openly, looking for a new approach together.

Conflict Style Quiz