End Your Spouse’s Affair Coaching Package
There is a path for ending affairs that many people have followed. You can, too.
1. Discovery and Decisions
You have discovered your spouse is having an affair. You have options not only for whether you divorce or not, but how you work on reconciling.
You have every right to divorce if your spouse is having an affair. I would agree with you that is fair and a secure way to handle things. But, what I can’t tell you is if that really is the best choice for you.
You see, affairs, like other damaging behaviors, happen for a few different reasons. If the reason is that your spouse is an unloving, selfish, no good spouse, then end your marriage. But, if the affair is a symptom of a marriage of emotional neglect, that is a different story. In that case, convincing won’t turn things around. You need a more effective approach.
2. Building must be balanced with boundaries
If you have decided to work to save your marriage, then you will need an action plan. How much you focus on building or boundaries has a lot to do with how damaged your relationship was before the affair.
Your actions also depend on how well you are getting along with your spouse now. You need to walk a delicate balance between connecting with your spouse and preventing your spouse from having both the affair and you at the same time.
Approaches based on submission only, or relationship building only will help your spouse to enjoy your relationship more. However, they also result in creating a situation too good for your spouse to give up. The result will be a prolonged affair while your spouse has his or her cake and eats it, too.
To end your spouse’s affair, you will need to have boundaries that prevent that. As your relationship becomes better, your boundaries must get stronger. This will be the motivation your spouse will need for ending an affair.
3. Deal with your neediness, and work to become more attractive
To be successful at getting your spouse to choose you over the affair partner, you will also need to work on you. This means becoming a better catch than the affair partner. Your spouse needs to feel that choosing the affair partner over you would be a bad deal. Coaching will also help you with that.
There is nothing easy about dealing with an affair. But, handled correctly, it can be the chance for a new beginning.
Learn to correctly handle your spouse’s affair and restore your marriage with this coaching package.
You will learn:
- How to correctly combine boundaries with love to foster love and respect
- All of your options regarding confrontational and non-confrontational approaches
- How to do a loving and strong confrontation, that you can optionally use
- Boundaries necessary for preventing your spouse from having his or her cake and eating it, too
- How to handle rejecting behaviors from your spouse in a loving and secure manner
- How to re-attract your spouse
- How to emotionally reconnect with your spouse
- How to trigger your spouse’s “in-love” feelings for you again
All packages include one-on-one sessions with Coach Jack by phone, Skype, or Zoom
Coaching Options (Details)
1. Four one-on-one sessions with Coach Jack by telephone, Skype, or Zoom (available with all packages)
I guarantee that every time we talk together, you will walk away knowing what to do next. Real coaching is not talk therapy. It is learning to apply a specific set of skills to reach the goals you want to reach. This package will help you to overcome your spouse’s objections to your marriage and make him or her want to be with you.
2. A relationship assessment (available with all packages)
This will help you understand the issues that are most important to your husband or wife. While you may know clearly the key things he or she does not like, that is a long way from understanding what he or she needs. Becoming sensitive to those needs is important for creating desire in your spouse as well as for your understanding of what you need to work on.
3. A life assessment (available with all packages)
This is a self-help tool you can use this to start making yourself into a secure, happy, and successful person. Your spouse is not going to come back in order to rescue you from your loneliness or misery. If you try to get your spouse to feel sorry for you or guilty, it is an incredibly needy tactic that will turn him or her off even more. You get no sympathy points with a departing spouse. Contrast these two statements–“You’ve got to come back to me because I’m miserable without you (needy, self-focused, unattractive),” and “I’m happy, my life is really going well, and I want you to be a part of it” (secure and attractive). Sympathy gets attention, but success gets attraction.
4. Coaching summaries or mp3 recordings of your sessions (available with Standard and Deluxe Packages only)
With the standard and deluxe packages, you don’t need to hurriedly try to take notes and talk at the same time. After every session, you will receive a summary of the main points and action steps from that session. Referring to your coaching summary between sessions will help to keep you on track and confident that you know what to do.
Hi Tom, in today’s session we talked about how to make more of an emotional connection with your wife when you go to see your kids on Sunday. Here are some reminders:
- Before you go to pick up the kids, text her and …
- When you first greet her, be sure to…
- If she brings up the money issue, arrange…
- (several more recommendations)
5. Extra, personalized email help as you need it (available with Deluxe Package only)
Those getting the Deluxe coaching package will be able to get a personal response to their email questions every Monday through Friday. This is NOT pre-written, general email that you will get from most coaching services. This is real, personal, individual email contact between you and me. Enjoy the security of getting a quick answer to what’s troubling you without needing to wait until your next session. This can save you many sleepless nights, and make you feel sure that you are doing the right things throughout the week.
Client email: Our anniversary is tomorrow and I don’t know how I should behave. She said she wants to divorce, so how do I talk to her when we go out?–Joseph
Coach Jack’s email response: Hi Joseph. Don’t think of your outing as celebrating your marriage as that will create tension for both of you. Instead focus on the skills we went over last session for creating connection…
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