Re-Connections Coaching Package
Learn to correctly handle your spouse’s desire to separate, divorce, or other “not in love with you,” messages.
You will learn to:
- Get your spouse to feel relaxed with you
- Stop getting rejection from your spouse
- Stay married rather than divorcing and becoming friends
- Get your spouse to talk with you more than just about “business”
- Create the desire in your spouse to want to date you
- Get your spouse to want to work on your relationship
- End the need for your spouse to “have space from you”
- Be the number one attractive person in your spouse’s life
- Trigger your spouse’s “in-love” feelings for you again
1. Re-Interest & Re-Attract
If you keep getting rejected when you try to be loving, your spouse may be preparing for a future without you. By the time spouses separate, they are uninterested in apologies or promises. They are working on moving forward. If you try to pull your spouse back at this time, all you will get is rejection.
Instead of trying to pull him or her back, you will need to re-interest and re-attract your spouse. Marriage counseling can’t do that because your spouse won’t participate or be motivated to reconnect. But, coaching for reconciling can give you the tools you need.
2. Coaching Better for Reconciling
Even if you could get your spouse to go to marriage counseling with you, it won’t help you to reconcile. This is because the counseling will focus on differences and problems. This focus will increase the emotional distance between you and your spouse. Then, the counseling will shift from reconciling to amicable divorce.
The reason that coaching works is because it doesn’t depend on convincing your spouse to love you. It also doesn’t depend on talking about relationship problems with a spouse who is no longer interested in your relationship. That would only bring conflict and more distance.
Your coaching for reconciling will begin by helping your spouse to relax with you. That will take away your spouse’s need for space. Then, with more positive interactions, you can begin to help your spouse to enjoy being with you again.
You don’t get there by talking about problems. You get there by learning how to reconnect and re-attract your spouse much like you would if you were starting your relationship over. This gentle, no-conflict approach will help you to reconcile faster than talking about problems and pursuing ever can.
3. Help Your Spouse to Fall in Love with You Again
Although your spouse quite honestly is not in love with you anymore, that was also true before you met your spouse. You needed to create the conditions for that to happen. That is no different when you are working on reconciling. Falling in love isn’t something you convince your spouse to do. It is something you trigger by being an attractive, connecting, and secure person.
Every situation is unique
Coaching does what books and videos can’t. That is answer questions about your unique situation. With one on one coaching you deal with what is happening right now in your marriage–what he or she is saying (or not saying) and doing (or not doing), as well as what you are doing to make things better. You need to know very specifically what to do today to build your spouse’s attraction and interest in your marriage.
Coaching is designed just for you. To give you a high level of specific direction, coaching is one-on-one. You will have sessions as often as you choose until you are on track. Maybe you were connecting yesterday, but being rejected today. What do you do? What does it mean? Summaries are individually written action plans you can use throughout the week.* Email support can help you with surprises and changes that happen between sessions.
Package Options
All packages include one-on-one sessions with Coach Jack by phone, Skype, or Zoom
Coaching Options (Details)
1. Four one-on-one sessions with Coach Jack by telephone, Skype, or Zoom (available with all packages)
I guarantee that every time we talk together, you will walk away knowing what to do next. Real coaching is not talk therapy. It is learning to apply a specific set of skills to reach the goals you want to reach. This package will help you to overcome your spouse’s objections to your marriage and make him or her want to be with you.
2. A relationship assessment (available with all packages)
This will help you understand the issues that are most important to your husband or wife. While you may know clearly the key things he or she does not like, that is a long way from understanding what he or she needs. Becoming sensitive to those needs is important for creating desire in your spouse as well as for your understanding of what you need to work on.
3. A life assessment (available with all packages)
This is a self-help tool you can use this to start making yourself into a secure, happy, and successful person. Your spouse is not going to come back in order to rescue you from your loneliness or misery. If you try to get your spouse to feel sorry for you or guilty, it is an incredibly needy tactic that will turn him or her off even more. You get no sympathy points with a departing spouse. Contrast these two statements–“You’ve got to come back to me because I’m miserable without you (needy, self-focused, unattractive),” and “I’m happy, my life is really going well, and I want you to be a part of it” (secure and attractive). Sympathy gets attention, but success gets attraction.
4. Coaching summaries or mp3 recordings of your sessions (available with Standard and Deluxe Packages only)
With the standard and deluxe packages, you don’t need to hurriedly try to take notes and talk at the same time. After every session, you will receive a summary of the main points and action steps from that session. Referring to your coaching summary between sessions will help to keep you on track and confident that you know what to do.
Example:
Hi Tom, in today’s session we talked about how to make more of an emotional connection with your wife when you go to see your kids on Sunday. Here are some reminders:
- Before you go to pick up the kids, text her and …
- When you first greet her, be sure to…
- If she brings up the money issue, arrange…
- (several more recommendations)
5. Extra, personalized email help as you need it (available with Deluxe Package only)
Those getting the Deluxe coaching package will be able to get a personal response to their email questions every Monday through Friday. This is NOT pre-written, general email that you will get from most coaching services. This is real, personal, individual email contact between you and me. Enjoy the security of getting a quick answer to what’s troubling you without needing to wait until your next session. This can save you many sleepless nights, and make you feel sure that you are doing the right things throughout the week.
Example:
Client email: Our anniversary is tomorrow and I don’t know how I should behave. She said she wants to divorce, so how do I talk to her when we go out?–Joseph
Coach Jack’s email response: Hi Joseph. Don’t think of your outing as celebrating your marriage as that will create tension for both of you. Instead focus on the skills we went over last session for creating connection…
Not sure if this is the package you need?
GET HELP CHOOSING A COACHING PACKAGE (DIY QUIZ)