Get more love from an angry, controlling, selfish, or withdrawn spouse
1. This is Your Chance for a Better Relationship with Your Spouse
It can be very frustrating trying to love someone who is making that very difficult. You might start to wonder if you and your spouse are from different planets! The fact is, however, that no matter how he or she is behaving, your spouse needs love just like you do.
If you start withholding your love because of the way your spouse behaves, it will make things worse. He or she might even start to think about leaving. On the other hand, if you just give in to your spouse’s behavior, your love will dry up.
2. A no-conflict approach to creating a good relationship
The key to creating change is to modify the way that you interact with your spouse. You can learn how to help your spouse feel loved and important while preventing him or her from manipulating you.
Your spouse has conflict with you because he or she wants more from your relationship. But, your spouse goes about getting more in all the wrong ways.
Because of habits and a history of bad experiences our spouses have had, they attack us, criticize us, or just stuff their desire and then distance themselves from us. It often seems like they don’t love us at all.
But, our spouses don’t actually want to be lonely or hurting any more than we do. They don’t know how to do better or can’t bring themselves to do it. And, if we don’t know how to help them, then we are both stuck.
3. Deal with your neediness, and work to become more attractive
Many people needlessly end their relationships. They feel hopeless not because love is no longer possible in their relationship. They feel hopeless because they don’t know how to create the emotional connection that both they and their spouses want to have.
Enduring a spouse’s bad behavior is not a very loving thing to do. Resolve today, to create a better relationship for both of you.
Learn to create a relationship that is characterized by mutual love, respect, and most of all a desire to be together.
You will learn:
- To identify what is maintaining your spouse’s relationship damaging behavior
- To identify ineffective responses that you are making to your spouse’s behavior
- To substitute relationship building behaviors in place of arguing or distancing
- The principles of effective boundaries
- To create boundary actions that will quickly begin to improve your spouse’s behavior
- How to emotionally reconnect with your spouse
- How to trigger your spouse’s “in-love” feelings for you again
All packages include one-on-one sessions with Coach Jack by phone, Skype, or Zoom
Coaching Options (Details)
1. Four one-on-one sessions with Coach Jack by telephone, Skype, or Zoom (available with all packages)
I guarantee that every time we talk together, you will walk away knowing what to do next. Real coaching is not talk therapy. It is learning to apply a specific set of skills to reach the goals you want to reach. This package will help you to overcome your spouse’s objections to your marriage and make him or her want to be with you.
2. A relationship assessment (available with all packages)
This will help you understand the issues that are most important to your husband or wife. While you may know clearly the key things he or she does not like, that is a long way from understanding what he or she needs. Becoming sensitive to those needs is important for creating desire in your spouse as well as for your understanding of what you need to work on.
3. A life assessment (available with all packages)
This is a self-help tool you can use this to start making yourself into a secure, happy, and successful person. Your spouse is not going to come back in order to rescue you from your loneliness or misery. If you try to get your spouse to feel sorry for you or guilty, it is an incredibly needy tactic that will turn him or her off even more. You get no sympathy points with a departing spouse. Contrast these two statements–“You’ve got to come back to me because I’m miserable without you (needy, self-focused, unattractive),” and “I’m happy, my life is really going well, and I want you to be a part of it” (secure and attractive). Sympathy gets attention, but success gets attraction.
4. Coaching summaries or mp3 recordings of your sessions (available with Standard and Deluxe Packages only)
With the standard and deluxe packages, you don’t need to hurriedly try to take notes and talk at the same time. After every session, you will receive a summary of the main points and action steps from that session. Referring to your coaching summary between sessions will help to keep you on track and confident that you know what to do.
Hi Tom, in today’s session we talked about how to make more of an emotional connection with your wife when you go to see your kids on Sunday. Here are some reminders:
- Before you go to pick up the kids, text her and …
- When you first greet her, be sure to…
- If she brings up the money issue, arrange…
- (several more recommendations)
5. Extra, personalized email help as you need it (available with Deluxe Package only)
Those getting the Deluxe coaching package will be able to get a personal response to their email questions every Monday through Friday. This is NOT pre-written, general email that you will get from most coaching services. This is real, personal, individual email contact between you and me. Enjoy the security of getting a quick answer to what’s troubling you without needing to wait until your next session. This can save you many sleepless nights, and make you feel sure that you are doing the right things throughout the week.
Client email: Our anniversary is tomorrow and I don’t know how I should behave. She said she wants to divorce, so how do I talk to her when we go out?–Joseph
Coach Jack’s email response: Hi Joseph. Don’t think of your outing as celebrating your marriage as that will create tension for both of you. Instead focus on the skills we went over last session for creating connection…
Not sure if this is the package you need?