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Blaming is one of several damaging behaviors that people unwittingly reward their spouse for doing. Just as giving candy to a tantruming child won’t result in fewer tantrums, your reactions to your spouse’s blaming may be getting you more and more blaming. It makes a difference whether your spouse blames you a lot or a…
Do you know the difference between a sexual affair and an emotional affair? Is one more ok than the other? Can someone have a “mental affair,” even if he or she isn’t seeing anyone? Have you ever had a feeling your partner was cheating on you? You may have seen or heard something that made you suspect…
Although most spouses say they want a divorce because of problems in the marriage, rarely is that the actual reason. Understanding the real reason your spouse wants a divorce will help you know how to work on reconciling. People are often shocked when their spouse wants a divorce. Yet, when I ask them how their relationship…
Here is what you can do to eliminate parenting conflict without going to marriage counseling Taking the direct approach with a disagreeable spouse is like going head to head with a mountain goat. A disagreeable spouse will not back down, will not be reasonable, and will not admit you are right–no matter how much evidence…
Badgering your spouse to end an addiction will do more harm than good. You need to combine love and good boundaries if you want to see things change. Trying to build a relationship with an addicted spouse is frustrating and prone to failure. Just when you think you are making progress, you will find your…
Do you communicate to your spouse what you want in a direct, clear, and positive way? Learning to do so can help your spouse to enjoy talking with you more and help you get more of what you want from your spouse. What do you usually do when your spouse is doing something you don’t…
Love and respect go hand in hand. If you want your spouse or partner to love you more, you are going to have to make sure you have earned his or her respect.
Do you walk on eggshells around your angry spouse? Are you frustrated trying to get your spouse to understand how he or she makes you feel? If so, it’s time to learn to use boundaries to help your spouse be less angry, and to help the both of you have a closer relationship. If you…
Sometimes arguing is an attempt to address a legitimate issue, sometimes it signals a desire for more closeness, and sometimes it is a signal of an impending affair or divorce. If your spouse is picking arguments, you will need to be able to discern and respond correctly. At the beginning of marriage, arguments are common….
Do you feel like giving up on your marriage? Before you do that, make sure you have done all you can to make it better for you and your spouse. As a relationship coach I help people to turn around even very bad marriages. They hire me after they have tried on their own to…